embracing solitude

2006-09-12T05:26:00.000-07:00

I’m a February Baby! (Got this from Emerson's Blog)

This seems pretty interesting.. haha

Abstract thoughts--> Yeah i think i do have those sometimes..

Loves reality and abstract--> Haha

Intelligent and clever--> Wish Ko Lang

Changing personality--> Sobra.. haha

Attractive--> Hopefully… haha!

Sexiest out of everyone--> What the?

Temperamental--> Sad but true..

Quiet, shy and humble--> Lolz. Totoo yan.

Honest And loyal--> yep

Determined to reach goals--> Depende sa mood

Loves freedom. Yes

Rebellious when restricted. Most of the time

Loves aggressiveness--> Hahahaha

Too sensitive and easily hurt--> Depends pero usually, oo..

Gets angry really easily but does not show it--> "I tried not to show it but eventually people know when I’m pissed": I'd have to agree with emerson. hehe

Dislikes unnecessary things--> I suppose it depends...

Loves making friends but rarely shows it--> I love making friends but i'm shy! wahahaha

Daring and stubborn--> More often than not.. :D

Ambitious--> Yeah

Realizing dreams and hopes--> Hmmmm

Sharp--> To a certain extent oo..

Loves entertainment and leisure--> Whoohoo!! Of Course.

Romantic on the inside not outside--> Let me think...

Superstitious and ludicrous--> Minsan

Spendthrift--> OO! haha

Tries to learn to show emotions--> Hmm.. Yup. Pero usually, pumapalpak eh. haha

2006-08-24T05:20:00.000-07:00

Seven things I want to do before I die:

1. travel
2. bungee jumping!!!
3. be rich
4. be really good at playing a certain instrument
5. become recognized for doing what i love to do
6. find out what i really want to do
7. make a difference..

Seven things I cannot do:

1. find my way (i have a bad sense of direction)
2. have my picture taken with clowns
3. website html eklat.. basta mga complicated pc stuff
4. fix my LJ/blogspot/frienster layout
5. be friends with a mascot
6. fall in love? nyahahaha ampuuuch! :P
7. draw really well.. so that means stick people doesn't count

Seven things that attract me to both a boy and a girl:

1. eyes
2. personality--> tipong down to earth....
3. sense of humor
4. taste in music
5. fashion sense--> not too flashy ah
6. the mind. naks! haha but seriously totoo yan
7. aura or yung dating niya

Seven things that I say most often:

1. "patay"
2. "like"
3. "baket?"
4. "oi"
5. "whatever"
6. "ano kaya yun"
7. "hello?!?"

Seven books I love to read:

1. the little prince
2. american gods or anything by neil gaiman
3. accounting principles. haha JUST KIDDING! AS IF NAMAN.
4. solitaire mystery... (which reminds me.. it's still with feeng for 3 years na!!!!)
5. mistress of mount mellyn
6. einstein's dreams
7. pride and prejudice.. wala na ako maisip...

Seven movies I could watch over and over again:

1. Now and Then
2. Cutting Edge
3. 10 Things I Hate About You
4. Sixteen Candles
5. Great Mom Swap
6. Interview with a Vampire
7. 3 Ninjas..

and the list goes on.....

Seven people I'm tagging to do this survey:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

tinatamad ako... hahaha you know who you are ^__^

2006-07-08T06:32:00.000-07:00

this is still not a decent entry.. again this is another song that's stuck in my head. :P

No Tomorrow by Orson

Let's go to a rave,
And behave like we're trippin'
Simply 'cause we're so in love.

Funny hats, shiny pants
All we need for some romance,
Go get dolled-up
And I'll pick you up.

There's no line for you and me
'Cause tonight we're V.I.P.
(I know somebody at the door).

I see that twinkle in your eye,
You shake that ass and I just die,
Let's check our coats and move out to the floor.

When I'm dancing with you
Tomorrow doesn't matter.
Turn that music up
'Till the windows start to shatter
'Cause you're the only one who can get me on my feet.
And I can't even dance.

Just look at me, Silly Me,
I'm as happy as can be-
I got a girl who thinks I rock.
And tomorrow there's no school,
So lets go drink some more Red Bull,
And not get home 'till about 6:00.

When I'm dancing with you
Tomorrow doesn't matter.
Turn that music up
'Till the windows start to shatter
'Cause you're the only one who can get me on my feet.
And I can't even dance.

Everybody here is staring
At the outfit that you're wearing
I love it when they check you out.
Cover's only twenty bucks,
And even if the dj sucks
It's time to turn this mutha out!

When we're together
When we're together
There's no tomorrow,
There's no tomorrow
When we're together
There's no one in the world
but you and me oh
you and me oh
You and me

2006-06-26T05:34:00.000-07:00

Nerbyoso --> current lss :P

Isang gabing kasama ka
Walang ginagawang iba
Kundi mag-usap sa mata

Bigla akong tinawag
Uwian na pala
Pag-lingon ko'y wala ka na
Ilanggabi na 'konglubhang nagdaramdam
Kahit pangalan mo'y hidi ko pa alam

Sasabihin ko na sana't
Aaminin sa iyo
Lahat lahat ng itinatago ng
Puso kong
Alipin ng kaba
Alam mo naman tayo
Walang magawa
Nerbyoso

Nais ko sanang makapiling kang muli
Kahit saglit lang kahit lamang sandali
Pagka't ilang gabi na 'kong nagdaramdam
Pa'nokung di ka na muling matagpuan

ilang gabi na 'kong lubhang nagdaramdam
kase mahal kita hindi mo lang alam

2006-06-19T04:42:00.000-07:00

Can you name 21 people right off the top of your head? Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 21 people. Don't change the names you've written once you start answering the questions. Ready, start!!

This is in no particular order. wahaha

1 Joan 2.Ann 3.Jill 4.Edhz 5.Fing 6.Eggy 7.Pax 8.Carlo 9.Alvin 10.Joee 11.Paulo 12.Pj 13.Eli 14.Chuva 15.Merks 16.Marky 17.Totie 18 Ian 19.Ky 20.Tiny 21.Marge

THE QUESTIONS:

1. How did you meet 14? Si Chuva? Ah. Siya yung katabi ko dati nung second year. Madaldal yun! Tapos lagi pa siyang nakatalikod at kinakausap si Jopo.
2. What would you do if you never met 6? She was my classmate for more than 5 years! That alone tells something. Marami na kaming pinag-daanan. And she has this pic of me from way back that she can use to blackmail me. haha
3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? Goodness!!! Tiny and Alvin??? I can’t imagine….
4. Did you ever like 5? Si Fing? Malamang as a friend.
5. Would 4 and 12 make a good couple? Edhz and Pj? Naku RIOT ito!
6. Describe 8: Maraming chicks. Masipag. Matalino. Ayos din kausap pag seryosohan. Matinik sa babae!! :P
7. Do you think 13 is attractive? Yeah. Lalo na nung summer nung naka-plunging neckline siya! Haha peace tayo!
8. Tell me something about 17: Naka-score kay *toot* *toot* at *toot*
9. Do you know any of 4's family members? Yup. Ang pinaka-kilala ko is yung mom niya..
10. What's 21's favorite color? Oops.. di ko alam.. I’ll just have to ask her though.
11. What would you do if 18 just confessed that he/she liked you? STRESS!! What the? Impossible. May iba nay un! Hahahaha :P
12. What language does 20 speak? English… Filipino..
13. Who is 9 going out with? Too many to mention! Nah, just kidding.
14. What grade is 16 in? College Sophomore
15. When was the last time you talked to 13? Nung Thursday ata..
16. What is 2's favorite band? Band... I don’t think she’s really into bands. She likes the song Somebody by Depeche Mode..
17. Would you ever date 7? Si Paxton? Probably. But the chances are slim no none.
18. Would you ever date 12? Si Pj?? Ano ba ito! Oo naman!! hahahaha Puro panggagago ang labas nun.
19. Is 15 single? I think so.
20. What is 19's last name? Sias.. ^__^
21. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 11? Whoa. Kay Pao? I don’t know…
22. What school does 3 go to? Sa DLSU!!!
23. Where does 15 live? Sa.. Sta Cruz? Basta alam ko kung paano pumunta sa bahay niya.. hehe
24. What's your favorite thing about 10? Our special class last term: STALKING 101!!!!
25. Have you seen 1 naked? No!!!

2006-04-21T02:48:00.000-07:00

the aftermath of freshmen year

summer is finally here. this is the awkward time where i can't myself a frosh anymore but i'm not yet a sophomore either. the past year has come and gone. third term has been an emotional whirpool and an eye-opener for me. ikaw nga ni joee, the third term fantasy is over. its back to reality for me. i would no longer be attending our "special" class every wednesday. i won't be on the look out if he's in his tambayan and wearing a white shirt anymore. next term would be a fresh start without any inhibitions, attachments and entanglements. i learned so many things which i would be keeping in mind from now on. but if i would still be in dlsu next year, i'm still not sure...

i'm thankful that i've met a lot of people this term. i was able to shift and i got accepted as a volunteer for LSPO (which a lot of people still cannot believe). i still miss LR33 complete with YCM, the dota boys and the GH boys. i remember being so surprised that majority of my blockmates are guys, much to my dismay. i got to meet my close friends ann, joan, edhz and jill who helped me in more ways that i can ever imagine. apart from my blockmates, my classmates from my other subjects are amazing. even if i only met them during the third term, i believe that its a start of wonderful friendship. ^_^

i miss julianne, my UBE-mate. i found it really easy to talk to her in most weird places(such as the staircase in EGI). i also kinda miss carlo's company, due to misunderstandings and rifts between us that never really did have closure... and its not going to be the same as before.. i miss ann and joan who are quite busy for the summer. i miss 4S. a lot of us are taking summer classes which makes it even harder for us to meet up with each other.

first term was my worst. i even cried because of that blasted crithin and about other things.. second and third terms were way better. i got lucky with the professors because they were really generous when it comes to giving grades.. maybe they were TOO generous.. it makes me think twice if life in la salle is easy.. so now i have to strive harder now that math is on to greet me with a banner that says "welcome to hell".

but as i've said, second year is a new start. its a new "adventure" and it sure is not going to be easier. i am planning to back to the Debsoc. i might also joing Sophia and Ley La Salle. those things are sure going to keep me busy. now i see that life is really full of suprises. maybe now i'll know when some things are worth risking for or not.

2006-04-06T04:11:00.000-07:00

The Heart May Freeze Or It Can Burn
The Pain Will Ease If I Can Learn

There Is No Future
There Is No Past
I Live This Moment
As My Last

There's Only Us
There's Only This
Forget Regret
Or Life Is Yours To Miss
No Other Road
No Other Way
No Day But Today

2006-03-26T19:32:00.000-08:00

Parental Wisdom - Pinoy Style
i'm sure you guys will be able to relate to this. ^_^

Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga mumunti ngunit ginintuang butil
na
payo na nakuha ko sa aking mga magulang.

1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:

"Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas! Mga leche kayo,

kalilinis ko lang ng bahay."

2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay:

"Kapag yang mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na!"

3. Kay Inay ako natuto ng LOGIC:

"Kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko."

4. At kay Inay pa rin ako natuto ng MORE LOGIC:

"Pag ikaw nalaglag diyan sa bubong, ako lang mag-isa ang manonood ng
sine."

5. Si Inay din ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng IRONY:

"Sige ngumalngal ka pa at bibigyan talaga kita ng iiyakan mo!"

6. Si Inay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang CONTORTIONISM:

"Tingnan mo nga yang dumi sa likod ng leeg mo, tingnan mo!!!"

7. Si Itay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng
STAMINA:

"Wag kang tatayo diyan hangga't di mo nauubos lahat ng pagkain mo!"

8. At! si Inay ang nagturo sa amin kung ano ang WEATHER:

"Lintek talaga kayo, ano ba itong kuwarto nyong magkapatid, parang
dinaanan
ng bagyo!"

9. Ganito ang paliwanag sa akin ni Inay tungkol sa CIRCLE OF LIFE:

"Walanghiya kang bata ka, iniluwal kita sa mundong ito, maari rin
kitang alisin sa mundong ito."

10. Kay Itay ako natuto kung ano ang BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:

"Tumigil ka nga diyan! Huwag kang umarte na parang Nanay mo!"

11. Si Inay naman ang nagturo kung anong ibig sabihin ng GENETICS:

"Nagmana ka nga talaga sa ama mong walanghiya!"

12. Si Inay naman ang nagpaliwanag sa amin kung a nong ibig sabihin ng
ENVY:

"Maraming mga batang ulila sa magulang. Di ba kayo nagpapasalamat at
mayroon kayong magulang na tulad namin?"

13. Si Itay naman ang nagturo sa akin ng ANTICIPATION:

"Sige kang bata ka, hintayin mong makarating tayo sa bahay!"

14. At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung anong ibig sabihin ng
TRYING OUT NEW FLAVORS:

"Salbahe ka talaga ano? Pagdating natin sa bahay, makakatikim ka sa
akin!"

15. Si Inay naman ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang HUMOR:

"Kapag naputol yang mga paa mo ng pinaglalaruan mong lawnmower, wag na
wag kang tatakbo sa akin at lulumpuhin kita!"

16. At ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat, natutunan ko kina Inay at Itay
kung ano ang JUSTICE:

"Balang araw magkakaroon ka rin ng anak...tiyak magiging katulad mo at
magiging sakit din sa ulo!"

2006-03-19T20:51:00.000-08:00

it's funny how i tend to really complicate things. i ignore what's already there just to be in search of something that may or may not exist. heck, i don't even know what i'm looking for. i don't know what i really want. i envy those people who have such distinct characteristics and traits. when people ask me what field i'm good at, i usually answer "i don't know" or something vague. this often leads to my frustration and grief thinking of who i really am.

right now, i am tired of people who are so judgemental and really critical of others. i am tired of those people who think that they are so high and up there, forgetting that they are still only human and can easily fall down the hard way. they say that the traits that you usually hate also best describes who you are... maybe the ones that i mentioned describes who i am.. then again, maybe not....

siguro nga ako ay isang makasariling nilalang na iniisip lamang ang kanyang sarili. isa akong plastic na tao na hindi kayang ipakita sa lahat ng tao ang kanyang tunay na nararamdaman at iniisip. isa akong tao na walang isang salita na kung saan laging nagbabago ang isip ko. isa akong mahina na tao na natatakot na makasakit ng tao kahit na sa kabilang dako eh sila na rin ang mali. minsan parang ako ay isang anino lang na madaling makakalimutan ng mga tao. isang kathang isip na madaling burahin sa mundong ito. takot akong makaramdaman ng sakit at pighati na pupukaw sa aking damdamin at emosyon na pilit kong kinokontrol. minsan gusto ko nalang umiyak ng umiyak para lang malabas na ang lahat. pero duwag ako. ayoko na makita nila ang kahinaan ko. pinipilit kong maging malakas pero minsan parang hindi ko na kaya at umaabot sa mga pagkakataon na kinasusuklaman ko na ang sarili ko dahil sa kahinaan ko. hindi ko matanggap na ganito na nga lang ba talaga ako.

enough now... enough.

2006-03-19T19:17:00.000-08:00

i seriously have been putting off my updating of this blog. it seems as if everytime i itch to write about something, once i face the computer, my mind turns blank. the coming weeks are really going to be stressful for most of us since most of the deadlines are coming up~ not to mention the week of the finals... school has been okay. though i know that i am continuously slipping (acedemically), i still manage to find the time to pay attention to other things... :D hahaha

anyway we do have a lot of papers to do:
1. the draft for english two
2. research paper/documentary for artsche
3. research paper for filipi1
4. research paper for genpsyc
5. a paper on eastern philosophers for philper

for presentations:
1. oral report for english
2. report for sociology
3. lecture forum for filipi1 and reporting this coming tuesday

now that i finally wrote everything (that is if i didn't forget anything) down, i can feel the pressure.. which is a positive thing so i can get a jumpstart on those school works.

a while ago i went to edhz's condo for a study group for introso. at first we weren't able to study because we (pax, jill, edhz and i) talked for a while and had lunch together. then we managed to finish just one chapter. haha but pax's effort was a fruitful one since he was able to memorize most of the terms for chapter 9 and he was already starting on chapter 10. naks naman! to think he was the one who couldn't keep still and he was the one who was restless. :P

i'm still feeling kinda lethargic.. the third term is drawing to a close.. all i can say is that so many things happened. there are some people who changed as much as there are some relationships that drifted apart...

2006-03-01T04:59:00.000-08:00

despite of the fact that i have been pretty much slacking off, things have turned out quite well... which means that i shouldn't take things for granted.

i am quite elated right now because the interview went well even if it wasn't what i expected it to be. it was not the typical "why-do-you-want-to-study-legal management" sort of thing. he started with "tell me something about yourself. describe yourself".. so i was caught off guard by his question. i even stuttered for a while because he was a lawyer! i can't just do the usual "bola". i had to think things through. but i was really nervous... and he even gave me an instance where i was to decide if i was going to defend the client. it was a tough question given the fact that i was again caught off guard by it.. luckily i remembered some of my sister's sudden bursts of information about the cases that she's already read so i was somehow able to give a pretty decent answer. :D

anyway.. so i still have a thing for pride and prejudice.. my favorite lines:

"We are all fools in love"

"If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love... I love... I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. " quoted from Mr. Darcy

maybe the reason i love watching classical romantic movies is because the whole "english" (take note, not american) thing and the old fashioned/conservative courtship and treatment is quite appealing for me.. haha but i still don't like the status of women during that time.. :D

2006-02-25T18:54:00.000-08:00

we didn't have classes yesterday. though i wouldn't say that its totally a good thing. you see, i woke up extremely early~ or maybe i attempted to~ just to study for our genpsyc exam. the thing is, you may have seen me reading some hand-outs and that was it. i read it but i didn't understand/remember all those terms. then my mom sort of barged in to our room(i sleep in my sister's room) and told me that there were no classes. i was surprised and i couldn't believe it. so i texted some people and tried to confirm the news. i was still skeptical at that time because what if we did have class and i was the only one who didn't attend because of misinformation? thankfully eggy went to school really early because her class was at 7am and she confirmed that there were no classes. so its a good thing right? NO.. i mean yeah i get to bum around just like the old days but my interview was scheduled on that day which is supposedly also the last day of interveiwing the shiftees. now i have to move it again next week... i just hope that it'll push through. but i just hve this strange feeling that i'm not going to make it... :( oh well. i'll know in a few more days.

the long weekend is supposed to give me a headstart for all the requirements and advanced "studying". sadly, it has not. i spent the the whole day watching some dvds. i watched pride and prejudice which made me swoon because of mr. darcy. i mean who wouldn't if he utters the line "you have bewitched me body and soul" with a longing look on his eyes. cmon. then i also watched cheaper by the dozen 2 which was quite enteraining for a very hot afternoon.

also i just realized that for the 22 years of my sister's life, it was her first tiime to take a bite of a shawarma also that afternoon. talk about firsts!!! i was so surprised when she told me that. it was fun watching her eat that for the first time. she mentioned that she did ate kebab, or whatever that is. then i told her that it wasn't the same.

we didn't have c2 today. i actually miss my tutees. yes, those two "makulit and maharot" little kids. next week, i'll prepare a lesson plan for them to make up for those missed lessoons. i already have the flash cards prepared and some "reading materials" to help them. the thing is, i have to attend the make-up classes for my 2 absences. its really no big deal. what bothers me a bit is the fact that i might have to commute from kamarin back to dlsu. and we all know that i have a poor sense of direction. er.. now i have to figure out how not to get lost. hmm maybe this might turn out to be an adventure for me. i guess this serves me right for being absent. :P

then i was bummed out when i browsed the newspaper and found out that there were no good movies to watch. darnit. goal wasn't showing anymore. just my luck. so.. i was forced to watch close to you. yeah its the movie that stars john lloyd cruz, bea alonzo and sam milby. i still have the lss from the soundtrack of the movie. oh cmon don't tell me you haven't heard it yet? it goes "oh why don't you smile....." hahaha i just can't seem to get that farden song out of my head! haha but it was an alright movie. it wasn't spectacular but it didn't suck either. and i am actually recommending it for you to watch! hahahaha

and i noticed that my acedemic performance is really declining. i have to study more. i envy joan, jill, ann and the others who were really exerting effort and getting good grades for the 1st half of the term. i don't know what's happening to me. cramming really is in my system but for the past term, i handled it pretty well. now i just have to find that drive back. i have to study harder to get atleast decent grades for this term. that and the fact that it would boost my CGPA and it might make it look good on my trascript of records when i transfer to another school. that is if i pass.. but it still might change if i pass the shifting process. haha i know that i still have half of the term to set my life into having a direction.

i just realized something... even if now that i'm 18 i can't feel that i have changed. i mean, yes, i already am legal but that's that. i am still the immature, self-centered, cynical, malabo, weird type of person that i was. and it bugs me that i still haven't matured into a responsible person. i haven't even bloomed into a so-called lady yet. lolz. hahahaha the bottom line? some people change while some cannot. what's the point? i don't know either. :D

2006-02-17T18:53:00.000-08:00

friday, feb. 17 was jam-packed day. first of all, it was emong's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMONG!!!! legal ka na! pwede ka na makulong. :P then we also got our philper midterms back.. and yes, mag-rarant nanaman ako. its just so farden annoying that you know you have a point and the professor dismisses it.. grr.. there is a difference between mentality and morality! you cannot hold both words as synonymous. (pasensya na johnny ah. eto nanaman ako)and to think that was one of the questions in the objective part. and according to the notes that he made us copy, it clearly states there that it was apriori morality.. NOT MENTALITY. anyway, sayang ang two points. mababaw na kung mababaw....but that’s life. haha now moving on...

i had another sort of campus tour. this was totally unplanned. i went to UP with eggy to meet up with mels and matty so we can go to the national children's hospital to arrange an outreach. we got a little bit lost from the hospital going to ateneo. we almost reached sta. lucia which was in cainta.. haha then we went to starbucks katips to meet with the ateneo people. yesterday was also apple's debut. i wasn't supposed to go because i didn't have a ride to and from the party. well, surprise! i got a ride from hilla from katipunan. so it was a bit of a road trip. astig magmaneho si hilla. hahahaha we then went to g4 to look for a gift for the debutante. we ended up going to toy kingdom to buy our gifts. it seemed as if we were not going to a debut but rather, we were going to a children's party. after that we went to hilla's place in bel-air to change for the party. the theme was luau/beach thing. we were all joking that we were going to be wearing towels with goggles and a salbabida. i was only wearing plain old jeans and shirt at that time and that's what i was planning to wear that to the party. but i got semi peer-pressured from them and ended up changing into something else. haha

we were already running late but we just had to had a picture moment with hilla's new dog, jackson

ang cute nung dog. it looked like a small fuzzy bear.. then off we went to south bay where the debut was held. the place looked awesome. we were a bit hesitant to enter at first because we all became so noidy and thought "what if it was a formal thing and that everyone was in formal clothes and all?". luckily, we saw some other people who were wearing beach outfits so it was all good. like any otehr 4S get-together, when we go there, we were all screaming and laughing out loud. iba talaga when you're with your HS friends and classmates. we took tons of pictures but unfortunately I forgot to charge the battery of my camera so I wasn’t able to take that much pictures.. :( apple looked regal with her orange/red dress. Despite her turning 18 she still looks like a little girl. seeing each other again was something else as usual. we really had a great time!!!

here's some of the pictures:

sa bahay ni hilla sa may swimming pool. feel na namin yung theme!! :P

threesome.

the paparazzi

pin, rina and peachy

while hilla was doing her "speech"

most of us during the party!

2006-02-16T07:22:00.000-08:00

grabe, the test in philper yesterday was i dunno.. hard?? i had a difficult time answering a some numbers in the objective part. to think i woke up at around 3am just to study for this. buti pa si johnny mukhang nadalian. and the fact that we already discusssed these philosophers(plato, aristotle, kierkegaard, sartre) during intphil. now i feel that my brain is all blank. i guess my brain cells have reached its maximum diminishing capacity. and at this point, i'm really having a difficult time this term. its so hard to focus and keep your adrenaline running. for instance, i haven't even started anything for all the paperworks in introso(personality profile, 2 bonus papers, breaking the rules paper). its already due next week and i'm sitting here just typing away, wasting my time and procrastinating. its a bummer that i already have it in my system to cram. i wait for the moment when i have this sense of urgency to do and finish things. maybe i can start now.. or maybe later... haha

don't you just hate the feeling when you're always the last to know? or when people neglect/forget seem to forget about you all of a sudden? it just.. well.. sucks that people keep things from you. i know! i know! its natural for people to keep things from you. what really got me affected is the fact that when this person told me something or actually hinted me about something, it was only up to THAT extent. an obvious hint that gave me an idea that it was something serious but it also tortured the hell out of me coz i'm the only one who doesn't know! what's the point of telling me if you're just going to tease me and not tell me the whole thing? okay fine so this is an incoherent post. sorry.. just don't mind this...

if you ask how i am or if i'm okay, you'll get the standard response "yes, i'm fine". ooops. i can feel another "drama" filled entry coming up.. so i'll just end it here. :P

katrina --

[noun]:

A person with a sixth sense for detecting the presence of goblins

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

2006-02-14T01:31:00.000-08:00

it has been eons. but nobody reads this anyway so i've been updating my lj more often. haha so for a change, i'm updating this one.

so many things have happened. you know, the whole package. meaning good things happen but somehow bad things just seem to creep up. let's start with the bad.. i guess the problem with some people out there is that they are just damn far too assuming. this only means that if one thing happens to be slightly true, they then over-generalize the whole thing and consider it to be true. my goodness, its a shame that they're this way. i thought better of these people. they just can't it through their thick heads and believe you when you mean what you say but the result doesn't speak of it. its just so farden annoying that you consider these people to be your friends and they box you into something and assume that the reason for some of your actions is this when in reality you're actually telling the truth. some friends huh? then again, maybe they're not. guess i was blinded before...

on the lighter note, much thanks to yeah c'mon for the serenade for my birthday!!! :D whoa, it was a really touching gift though i haven't treated you guys out yet. haha special thanks to ann and joan(for the roses), eds, jill, joee, alvin, totie, kim, marc, marg, carlo, pax, papa bear(thanks for those messages :D), jc and to all those people i forgot to mention.

when we watched memoirs of a geisha, i was surprised that my friends gave me gifts. i wasn't expecting coz i didn't havea party, nor did i treat them out or something like that. matty.. ehem.. in case you're reading this, i'm using it na.. wahahaha dianna/wangie, thanks for the thing.. im practicing everyday. nah, just joking. but it was a fun but hard game. to eggy and mels, thanks for the books. now, i just have to find the time to read them because i often doze off and eventually fall asleep. haha and thanks to pia for coming. naks. hahaha

so as i look at my clock it's already valentine's day. oh what joy(note the sarcasm in my voice!!!! hahaha) well like my post last year i still believe that's its just a hallmark holiday where businesses start to sprout like mushrooms and where people spend money. haha it's their choice anyway so that's that. this is also the time where acronyms get used by a lot of people. allow me to name a few:
TIIS- tang ina i'm single. i got this term exactly a year ago. this is a well known term for all ye lads and ladies who are single out there.
SSB- single since birth. 'nuff said. haha
NBSB- this is a subcategory/acronym for nbs. this means no boyfriend since birth.
SAD for SNC- and valentine's day ay single awareness day for singles not in ciculation. not in circulation means yung mga singles who are not available and are not ready to "mingle". i got this term/s from pia who made itup with tin. haha

oh well. this is it for now. i still have to do something. i just have to remember what.. haha

2006-01-12T03:47:00.000-08:00

it has been more than two weeks since the first day of the third term. now that i've met my professors and my new classmates, here's a sort of assessment or judgement/expectations for this term..

Philper= our prof is no ms. velasco but he seems like a listener. like what emong mentioned, i'm still getting the hang of starting and ending the class with a prayer. as it turns out parang mala-johnny siya because he came from a seminary. this class would realy be interesting because, based on the course outline, we will be having field trips film viewings etc. and let me not dicscount the fact that john, johnny and emong are my classmates. so i am anticipting future intellectual spat.

Artsche= when i was in high school, chem was like math. i think i'm gonna suck at this subject. not to mention that i do not like the feel of my blockmates. i mean fine.. aj, alvin and the others are there but i still have this weird feeling. on the positive note, our prof seems to be knowledgeable on his subject. so i ought to be learning a lot this term.

Lab= the prof is very young. i just hated the fact that we had to walk from the 3rd floor of strc to the 5th floor of sj. this block is an all-girls block. they were all quiet. its a good thing marge is there. whew! i thought i was gonna be a goner for sure.

Genpsyc= this class is like LR 33 minus some of the GH and dota boys. its fun having fee fee and the others in our block. i'm not so sure if i'm really going to be up for this subject because at this time of the day, my mind is already floating elsewhere probably because i wanna go home.

Introso= the block is alright. but the room is way freezing. sociology for me in contradicts philosphy. so goodluck nalang.

Filipi1= i like the prof and the subject. hopefully, it'll like me too. haha in this class, there are a handful of international students which in a way is kinda paradoxical but makes the block all the more interesting.

Engltwo= i was really surprised when i saw sir amaury when i entered the classroom. i didn't know what i was in for. my blockmates are alright. pax has his three ladies.

PE= judo. this is going to be one hell of a monday for me. and it really ain't gonna be easy. it was surprising that my classmates are mostly girls. let's just say that i'm not feeling the subject yet because i have to wake up so early. i have to reset my body clock to cope with the sched.

CWTS= like i said, forced voluntary mandatory community service. i guess i just don't like the teacher and some of my blockmates. i am all for community service but classroom sessions just ruin me. i'm just hoping that our proposal will turn out fine. but what really got me was the fact that she criticized it in front of our faces. fine pangit nga gawa namin and i have no excuse whatsoever. eh nakakainis. i gotta admit that i was humiliated and it ruined my day.

so there you have it. this term is hell in the making. i just hope that i get to shift, pass or even get decent grades. this might just be wishful thinking huh? and that's what i'm doing right now.

2006-01-11T09:47:00.000-08:00

its alaready january 11 and i haven't even accomplished one~well except for the talk to stranger part. kumusta naman diba? (okay so nahahawa na ako kina mels at matty sa expression na into) aargh this is bad. lately i haven't been feeling that great because of the wretched weather. this is the first time that i'm saying this coz for the past years i love love love january and february. but now, it has been giving me headaches and allergies and "sinat". but i just have to cope with the blasted weather.

it just dawned on me a while ago that i'm unlucky when it comes to kris kringles. imagine that for the two kris kringles that i had in school, i received nothing. haha guess you can say too bad for me. then for my other kris kringle with my barkada, i was told that there's this one that wasn't picked yet. and i have this gut feeling that its gonna be me. i must have all the luck in the world. *feel my sarcasm*

i watched narnia a while ago during my 5 hour break. it was actually my second time to watch it because we have the dibidi version of it though its not the really uber clear copy. eh yung title ba naman eh "narnya". wrong spelling pa. all i can say is that peter is hot. haha well, he really is but not in the cedric diggory sort of way. the movie is a must watch. hmm..i want to read the books but lo and behold, i still don't have any of them.

2006-01-08T05:44:00.000-08:00

the first week of the third term has come and gone. and sadly, i am still not in "school mode". i haven't been my usual self lately let alon go back to my old study habits(wait a minute.. what study habits? i don't have one to begin with. i guess i can link this to my screwed up schedule where i have a 5 hour break on monday, none on tuesday, 4 and a half hours on wednesday and friday.. i suppose my only decent schedule is on thursday. but this is what i chose so i just have to deal with it. and it pays to have your house near school so i can just go home. ^_^ among other things, new faces and new teachers na ulit. i suppose this is the start of the so-called college life. no longer are we confined in one block where familiar faces would always be there. and so the new "adventure" begins...

i'm feeling kinda lethargic. damn it. i must get hold of myself. and i must do it as soon as possible.

2006-01-02T03:10:00.000-08:00

18 Things to do before i turn 18 ...
this sucks coz i know that i will never be able to do all these things obviously due to the limited time (try one month and a couple of days).. *sigh* oh well. we'll see. this is in no particular order. (special thanks to minay and beiai. haha )

1. do some random good deed for a random person- sana magawa ko ito

2.wear a skirt to school- fat chance!!!! goodluck nalang sa akin.

3. wear a white shirt/top for school- uhm.. hahaha

4. keep my desk and my closet in order- i must be consistent. i usually have my papers organized only during the first few days of classes. haha

5. learn to do a cartwheel- i remember back in grade school i can only do the bridge. like beiai said, it's about time.

6. cook something and get someone to eat it!!

7. achieve something- er.. i dunno. maybe i ought to be active sa debsoc or something. hahaha

8. not to tease anyone for one whole day- whoa. this might be hard..

9. have more time for family and friends and for myself

10. find a love interest or maybe even fall in love- what the? i cannot believe i just wrote /typed that. pag nangyari ito, talagang magpapa-piyesta at magpapa-party sina matty at fing!!

11. save money- seriously.. so i can afford to get out of the house more.. haha kidding

12. gamble and win!!!

13. write- it has been ages since i wrote something. be it a poem or something. wala kasi akong inspirasyon. kailangan akong tamaan nito para makasulat..

14. outreach or comminuty service- nakakamiss na yung sa pandacan. this is not cwts, which in layman's terms is "forced and mandatory community service". i want to be with people who really want to help and not just for the sake of completing the course and getting a high grade for such futile efforts. hahaha

15. make a difference for someone- oo na. its vague but malay mo diba?

16. reinvent myself? or try something different- like eat something that i haven't had the guts to try.

17. surprise myself- yung nga.. surprise myself

18. talk to a stranger- wahaha i may never have the gall to do this. but it's worth a try!!!

like i said before.. this is an impossible task. i'm hoping i can do atleast 3-5 things in this list. oh dear. what have i gotten myself into? maybe if you're nice enough you might wanna lend me a hand on this. :P

2005-12-31T23:57:00.000-08:00

so 2005 is finally drawing to a close. this has been one heck of a year for me. i'll try to recapture what happened to me in the past year...

january- it was actually new year's eve that i received the news that i failed dlsu. i was bummed out, yes, but i ended up cooking anyway which turned out to be delicious. but somehow i felt like i was such a failure. oh well. ganyan talaga ang buhay.

february- hmm.. let's see. i can't seem to remember what happened during this month. oh yeah, my birthday. i got a year older and but not wiser. haha kidding! let's just say i had a lousy birthday.

march- grad song competition.. we won!!!! it was entitled road to tomorrow. although it once again ignited on the resentment of the batch towards our section, we were still proud of our hard work. and this was the month where we had tose gruelling grad practices where we had to wear those high heeled shoes for practice. man, dd i want to stranggle those teachers especially the pa-star teacher(three guesses who). finally i'm left st. scho for good after 11 years. right after graduation(tipong yung madaling araw nun), i went with my friend and her family to samar. i had a great week.

april- i was aready all set to go to ust and take up pharmacy. but i still passed the recon form in dlsu. na-peer pressure ata ako nun. nothing to lose right? then i got reconsidered sa philosophy and i had to come up with a decision.

may/first term- i got the blasted chicken pox. atleast it was before classes and habang mas bata pa ako. si dianne kasi hinawahan ako.. joke! but it was all good na rin. i chose dlsu and i am happy with that choice. i got to meet my blockmates and more people along the way. at first i was really apprehensive kasi sa CLA ko. but it turned out quite contrary to what i expected. i was still getting used to the trimestral system which meant that things were faster. the first term was... one of my lowest points. but when that thing happened, i promised to myself that i won't be as "helpful" as i was before. basta yun na yun. and i got to see people, whom i sort of detested before in a whole new light. hahaha

second term- this was fairly good term for me. the teachers were somehow better. i was already over that wretched crithin subject and now i had to deal with intphil. there were a ot of changes.. i lost contact with some people. i missed my HS friends and classmates. err.. maraming times na lumabas ang kadramahan ko. in short medyo nalungkot ako. kasi di ko laging nakakasama sina ann at joan. er.. somehow i felt left out. with jill and eds its the same. i never quite fit in. fifth wheel kung baga. hahaha pero syempre every cloud as a silver lining diba?

and now that another year is fast approaching.. i feel that there are more changes to come. but i have this strange feeling that most of it's not going to be that good for me. yet, all these things will make me grow and maybe even to make me more mature on how i'll deal with things. kasi naman malapit na rin akong maging legal so people would expect more. but screw them! dapat i should expect more from myself. anyway, i suppose there are things that i am going to look forward to.

2005-12-29T05:45:00.000-08:00

i'm a bit bored right now. for this day, i just stayed home and bummed around. can you believe that i already watched two movies from the metro manila film festival? i watched "ako legal wife" and "shake rattle and roll 2k5". i can say that both films were entertaining enough so if you have spare time(i mean don't we all? haha) you might want to watch these. haha

so anyway, im just going to post more pics from our get-together. ahaha

this is our break from eating. basta ba may camera eh. haha
i think this is all of us.
naks feeling models ba? haha iba talaga ang naka hot pink!! :P

2005-12-27T15:56:00.000-08:00

if it wasn't for the 4S(my high school classmates and friends) post christmas get-together, i might have been rambling or making "drama" on how my christmas went. these guys are so much fun to be with. reliving high school with you guys was so much fun. we were so noisy that even the neighbors a block away were complaining becuase of our noise. it was so funny that when new poeple arrived, we would all scream and go to the gate as if we have a welcoming committee. and yeah, we did this everytime. the turnout was surprising! we were around 21 4S bebs, which is more than half of our class. we had a lot of catching up to do. we talked about their lovelife (or in my case the lack of it), school, family, and everything in between. we played charades(at nanalo ang side namin! go left team!!) which ignited a friendly/joketime rivalry between the two teams. and then di mawawala ang magicsing! as usual we were singing boyband tunes/diva hits(for the singers in class yun) and the all time favorite songs like bohemian rhapsody ect.. if you could see us, you'd really wonder if these gals are already in college. iba talaga ang 4S. and imma miss you guys!!!! kelan ulit and sunod na party?????

here's some of the pics. take note that we were either in green or pink coz that was the theme. kaso syempre may mga pasaway din pero ayos lang. haha :D
threesome-mates!!!!! di nyo pa rin ako kinakalimutan/pinagpapalit kahit na sa ateneo na kayo.
4S smi-class pic!!!!
we are the hot pink girls. oh yeah!!! go pink!!! more pics to be posted here, in my lj and in my multiply.

2005-12-24T22:16:00.000-08:00

I've realized that life is indeed full of contradictions. Sometimes it's crazy to be sane, you need to fall to fly, people suffer because you care, you have to unlearn to know the lesson, you have to give up because you are strong, you have to be wrong to make things right. Nonetheless, life's complexities are also life's source of beauty. We should cry to laugh again, fall apart to be whole again, and get hurt to love again...

(drama alert)
Err.. the first time(well.. not really the first pero gets) i become selfish and start thinking of myself for the first time, i get scolded for it. i have a knack for bad timing. nice one. great move for me huh? haha

anyway, merry christmas to everyone. :D

2005-12-20T22:46:00.000-08:00

these are the things that happened for the past few days(not that anyone cares anyway).. haha

i crammed ng englone portfolio. and every minute was well spent. mr. chanco gave me a huge credit for it. atleast my effort didn't come to a waste. :D

then on that same day, my friend texted me para sabihin na may overnight kami. it was a bit of a surprise because i haven't been to her place in ages. luckily, i got to go. i miss having these overnights. when we were in high school we had numerous overnights because we had to do/finish/cram our projects. these projects ranged from music videos, documentaries, shadow plays and other creative presentations. we would stay up all night or until the break of dawn. we would try to talk to each other while working. we had funny moments too.. may isang time na we were busy preparing ourselves for a video. some of them were fixing the costumes, writing the script, memorizing lines and watching a movie.. i remember that i was lying down. i was already tired that time so i was really groggy. and then my head starting to spin because my friend was fidgeting. so i told her to stop moving. then she said that she was also lying down.. turns out there was this earthquake. none of us reacted for a while. after a few moments, we all wondered why was it taking so long. after that, we were already awake.. i guess the earthquake shook us all up. tapos meron pa isang time na we slept overnight to edit the script for merchant of venice. so we delegated the work and we finished it really early. eh ang lakas ng trip ng mga kasama ko kaya we ended up making a video of oursleves! tipong i think rina or minay was playing the piano and we made an impromtu storyline and we just acted. it was a good thing that serna still haven't shown that video to anyone.. or else kahihiyan yun. haha another fond memory would be the time where we forced oursleves to sleep before 3am because we were all dead scared of bloody mary. it was funny though. i know i have a knack for annoying people and that was one of those days where i was at my peak. i think i also told them that bloody mary showed herself or her reflection on the windows. turns out, there was a huge window where we were already facing during that time. then when they checked the time it was about 230am. so they were all screaming and tried to "sleep". nakakamiss lang talaga. high school really is different and i can't help but miss those days. miss ko na ang 3S/4S.

the next day(grabe ang incoherent ko na), nagsimbang gabi kami. ayus noh? can you believe ako nagsimbang gabi>? haha i don't know the real reason kung bakit ako nagsisimba na ulit.. oh well this is a matter of self-searching or something like that. tapos nanuod kami ng 2 episodes ng weiss kreuz or knight hunters. whoo namiss ko yun sobra.. and inggit mode ako nun kasi she has the whole collection of knight hunters.. darnit.. magkakaroon din siguro ako... kung kelan yun, hindi ko alam. wishful thinking nalang talaga. then in the mid afternoon, i ended up watching a movie with my friend. we were supposed to go to greenbelt pero hindi natuloy. ayus na rin siguro yun.

nung monday naman, may lunch thing dito sa bahay tsaka may "block party". i'd rather not elaborate but even if not everyone showed up, ayus lang naman. haha

so yesterday was the big day. course card distribution aka moment of truth/suffering. we were in school the whole day waiting for the professors to give us the good or bad news for that matter. at first i was psyched but i got tired easily because of the lack of sleep and a friggin headache. panalo. we were supposed to eat dinner together/night out but hindi siya natuloy. now, i don't have anything against sa mga di nakapunta. you all have your reasonsone way or another. its alright. its just it gets really frustrating when you put so much effort into trying to plan something then in the end either no one replies or they back out at the last minute. i guess i just got so exhausted. parang deja vu nanaman eh. marami nang pagkakataon na nangyari ito.. i'm not blaming anyone but myself. let's just say that i expect too much. parang initiative lang naman. prang nakikita ko na tuloy yung get together sa feb... umm baka marami lang din hindi makapunta or something.. i'm already babbling here. don't mind the last 2 sentences. so anyway, moving on, malapit na ang pasko and i still can't feel it. haha

i know i should be out celebrating. i'm happy or something similar to that. but why do i have this sinking feeling that i just want to burst or breakdown and cry?

2005-12-17T22:33:00.000-08:00

i was supposed to be typing a really long entry right now.. but i'm feeling a bit nostalgic again. so i'm just gonna post some more pics of the block. the course card distribution day is already on tuesday. technically thats our last day together. i know that i have been itching to break away from the block, but of course i'd be a hypocite if i didn't say that i'm gonna miss those people. facing another term without those familiar faces seems so surreal. somehow, i already have this attachment with these people.

eto ang GH boys.. (not complete)

syempre the people that i usually hung out with :D

siga pa rin si jaro. lolz

eto ang dota boys

syempre mas kumpletong dota boys

and yeah it was fun while it lasted. so i guess this calls for another "meet new people"/ "getting to know you"... and i just have to deal with it...

2005-12-14T05:13:00.000-08:00

there's just so many things that i want to write about but i don't want to cramp them all up in one long entry. so many things have happened that were memorable and i can't believe why i haven't come up with a single entry about those things..

so let me start with joee's debut....

the boys strike a pose!!!

all girls naman..

this is what we were doing while waiting for the signal for our dance.. naks.. oo nagsayaw ako.

the group or the gang.. ang gulo na namin.

joee's debut was something else. we were all dressed up for the evening which is something new for us. it seemed like another prom or grad ball minus the corsage and date thing. joee's 18th birthday was a blast! this is one of those times that you cannot miss because this doesn't happen very often. i'm going to miss these people terribly.

2005-12-06T08:49:00.000-08:00

"its beginning to look at lot like christmas.." haha so i am procrastinating again before studying for our lbybio finals later... oh well what's new right? so yeah, i decided to give in to peer pressure and make a christmas list myself. actually this is the first time that im going to do this. haha

WISHLIST
1. cd ng dream theater(i actually saw one which costs more than 1K. grabe nakakaiyak ang mahal), cynthia alexander, keane(kasi nawawala na yung cd namin nun), yung bagong cd ng a perfect circle, gin blossoms(though i'm not sure kung meron pa nun, vienna teng, tori amos, the cure, damien rice, aqualung, jeff buckley at marami pang iba...

2. sandman series by neil gaiman starting from doll's house(each volume is really exopensive.. haha kaya pulubi ako

3. the dante club(i forgot the author), orange girl by jostein gaarder, the whole chronicles of narnia series by c.s. lewis, the beauty series by ann rice, the unbearable lightness of being(again.. nawawala ko kasi), anansi boys by neil gaiman

4. new cellphone kasi naghihingalo na yung phone ko ngayon

5. pera(so i can buy everything that i just mentioned haha)

i know most of the ones that i mentioned above are really costly. tipong sa panaginip ko nalang ata makukuha yung mga yun. anyway, eto na yung mas affordable. lolz

6. stuff toy na tiger(yung di mukhang ferocious), or leopard or cat or penguin or cheetah or yung orange thing sa chicken little

7. jacket

8. white na skirt/top.. yeah WHITE. oo na it doesn't seem like me. maybe its my alter ego that's typing away right now

9. messenger bag.. kinda like the black one that i'm using right now.

10. scrapbook.. yung may laman nang pics and other stuff.. haha

11. strawberry ice cream

12. mahabang letter(haha ginaya daw ba si carlo)

yan muna sa ngayon. wasted na ako. may finals pa ako mamaya :D

2005-12-01T06:30:00.000-08:00

i almost cried yesterday. its weird. i don't even know the reason why. i guess things were just bottled up too long. it was a good thing that i was able to stop it.. let's just say now is not the time for me to falter and lose myself. i'm not depressed or anything. i don't know what's wrong with me. i'm using every ounce of my strength not to be this way. its just that so many things have been happening. things changing. people neglecting. memories fading. i dunno.

to add to that, i was not my usual self a while ago. i almost tripped several times. i was spacing out. my mind was wandering elsewhere. the kaspil test was not what i expected and i'm expecting a low grade. i have two x's for the intstud recits and i don't even know where they came from since she said that she won't be checking the attendance anymore. my two artapre papers got a 2.5 each. i don't know what's happening. and yes, this is the grade conscious/superficial side of me babbling here. it's like i'm slipping and falling. i no longer have the energy. i mean what's the point? nawawalan na ako ng gana sa halos lahat ng bagay.

2005-11-29T06:01:00.000-08:00

wohoo!!! new lay-out courtesy of sophia. hahaha thanks fing! :D i can't believe that its actually pink. at first i was dead scared of the idea pia had in mind but obviously, the turnout was magnificent. iba ka talaga fing! idol!!!haha

so i guess pink is the new black? nah. hahaha this is a sudden change of colors. actually this is the opposite of black. can this mean a paradigm shift? maybe. from the nostaliga and semi-depression that i was feeling last term and earlier this term, i learned to deal with it. there are some people who helped me and i'm really thankful for them.

i realized so many things after pondering about them. sitting down at one of the benches along the conserv with the wind gently touching your skin is a good way to have a reality check and a deeper understanding of things that have been going on. i believe that the best conversations happen when you are sitting with someone and you're just comfortable saying nothing, and yet it feels so fulfilling.

before i forget....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIANNE!!!!

thanks for the UBE moments. :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARLO!!!!~

thanks for the recent reality check and convos. haha

2005-11-29T05:53:00.000-08:00

What Your Black Outfit Means

You're a sophisticated woman with big city taste.
You have a strong creative force - even if you don't wear the boldest clothes.
You tend to intimidate people. But the right guy won't be intimidated by you!

Designer match: Dolce & Gabbana

Signature accessory: Gold framed sunglasses

What Does Your Favorite Outfit Say About You?

2005-11-25T18:24:00.000-08:00

because it hurts
i laugh
because i am tired
i wake
because i doubt
i search
because i fear
i dare
because i believe
i ask

is it possible that i'v turned numb again, trying to ignore all feeling and having sudden bursts of emotions? then again, its just me.

2005-11-17T05:43:00.000-08:00

kat took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Desires release from an unsatisfactory situation a..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

2005-11-15T06:17:00.000-08:00

You Are a Tomboy

You're having too much fun to bother with nail polish and crazy diets.
Guys are instead impressed by how much you know and do!

How Girlie Are You?

why am i not surpised? haha

2005-11-10T16:46:00.000-08:00

when everything's all good and peachy keen, why do you just have to pick that right moment leave me in distraught? things have been going pretty fine. then you come along to ruin everything. you may ask, why am i so affected? everything's a choice right? then i suppose i chose to be affected. i can't take it anymore. that and the fact that everything right now seems to fall apart. i never felt so alone. i even have a blasted fever right now. oh well. that's life. i just have to deal with it.

the midterm grades were already given to us. i am happy with what i got. you can say that i AM SATISFIED with it(though my intphil grade still seems like an illusion). if only my parents would feel the same. ^_^ atleast my semi-hard work has been paying off. though i feel that i am only lucky because i always fall asleep when i study. i am thankful for my blockmates who usually fill me in when they study in class. those things really helped me.

right now, i am contemplating with what's going to happen to me next year. i still am very complacent at the same time, i am dreading it.

2005-11-05T05:22:00.000-08:00

<<>>

The guy who loves you, if he can't always
see
you, he will try to make himself busy, for
not to
have any time to remember you, because
he
knew, if he did, he will keep on missing
you
until he could do nothing.

The guy who loves you can't tell you the
reason why he loves you. He only knows
that in
his
eyes, you are the only one.

The guy who loves you seldom praises
you
but in his heart, you are the best and only
he
knows it.

The guy who loves you will worry sick or
complain
if you don't reply his messages because
he cares.

The guy who loves you only sheds his
tears in
front
of you and when you try to wipe his tears,
you are
touching his heart, the heart that beats
for you.

The guy who loves you will remember
every word
u said even if its accidental and he will
always use
those words in the nick of time.

The guy who loves you will not promise
easily
because they don't want to break that
promise. He
wants you to believe in him and he wants
to give
you the happiest and safest life always.

The guy who loves you always tells you
not to
think too much because he planned
everything he
wants to give u - the perfect life in the
future. He
wants to surprise you. Believe that he can
do it.

The guy who loves you will go to the
airport to
fetch
you. He won't carry a bouquet of roses
and call
you
darling like what you expected but he will
carry
your luggage and ask you, "Why have
you become
so thin in two days?" with his sincere
heart.

The boy who loves you will listen quietly
to you
when you are mad and when you
finished talking
he will say, "You have class tomorrow,
sleep
earlier with a smile. I'll make sure you do."

The boy who loves you doesn't know
whether he
should call you when you are angry but
he will
send a message to you after a few hours.
If you
ask him why he call that late he will
say, "When
you are angry, my explanation will be
rubbish but
when you calm down, my explanation
will work."

The boy who loves you always calls you a
kid but
everytime he wants to make a big
decision, he will
want to hear your advice first

The guy who loves you don't like toys like
teddy
bears but he will always put the bear you
gave him
on his bed and hug it everytime he
sleeps cos it
reminds him of you.

The guy who loves you, when
quarrelling, will
apologize non-stop, eventhough if you're
the one
who's wrong. He just wants you to be
happy.

The guy who loves you, when he really
misses
you, he will buy you a bouquet of roses
and wait
for
you stupidly outside your front door and
when you
shockingly find him there, he is already
asleep
dreaming of you.

The guy who loves you will tear his heart
open
just to avoid you shedding a single drop
of tear.

GALs in love, do you think the guy who's
beside
you really loves you? If yes, wish you
have the
happiest day ever. Make the best out of
every
single moment with him.

2005-11-03T03:20:00.000-08:00

here's just some of the pics nung bday ni ann. and yes, i looked really ghey. :P

2005-10-28T18:41:00.000-07:00

its hard when bittersweet nostalgia creeps behind you like a prowler with one sole intention: which is to rob you of your complacency and make you remeber all those things that time has already painstakingly left behind. a flood of thoughts suddenly come bursting in your mind.. missed opportunities, overlooked chances, neglected feelings/emotions and my most lamented sentiment, REGRET.

i know that i can never bring back that moment. even if i can turn back the cogswheel of time, i still would've made the same decision. i suppose that it really bugs me that so many chances pass me by, just waiting for me to recognize and grab it. the so-called existentialist in me is clouded by my lapse of judgement. it is a choice that i made, and a chance that i did not take. and that's that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

on a lighter note, HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY ANN!!!!! though you may never get to read this i just want to thank you for everything. ever since the first day it has been the five of us. i really treasure our friendship. although we have known each other just for a couple of months, we survived the first term together, rising above all those issues and ehem, rumors. and it still amazes me that even if we are so different, we all still get along. pano ba yan legal ka? naku baka mamaya kung ano ano na ang gawin mo. remember i'm just always here for you guys in case you need a helping hand or a friend for that matter.

2005-10-14T06:13:00.000-07:00

so this is it.. sir rono won't be teaching in st. scho anymore. this is so surreal. i cannot imagine st. scho, especially troika(where our polar bear usually hibernates) without him. my god, what the hell is happening to may previous alma mater? i know that there were so many times wherein i just wanted to tear him apart but his departure is a huge loss to st scho and they are really stupid if they do not realize that obvious repercussion.

st scho is proud to be able to uphold the rights of every citizen. the right to speak up and the right to be heard. but what they are doing right now is downright hypocrisy. look at yourselves. the unnerving question still remains. by doing what you have already done, you are going against every principle in which you stand for. what difference do you have from those politicking people?

now i can never look at my old school the same way again. it really is unjust for them to result to that. i pity the lower batches for not having the chance of being taught by sir rono.. i do not think that i can ever hold my head up high in relation to my HS.. clearly i am at a loss for words..

2005-10-08T18:25:00.000-07:00

it has been a while since i have updated. school is slowly but surely becoming a burden once again. on the other hand, i like my subjects even if we have a ton of readings every week. the block has been... okay. what really gets me up in the dreary morning is my english block and ofcourse my friends. but there are really so many times wherein i feel apathetic.. or maybe just plain complacent. but ofcourse putting up a front for everyone else to see has been an easy task to do. but there are instances wherein i let some pieces of myself to seep through.

its raining again. don't you just love it? the way it washes off the dirt from the pavement. or the way it creates a coooling and soothing relief for all of us. but sometimes, the rain can also be a bad thing.

i am watercolor. and i wash off. just like the rain erasing my existence from this world.

2005-09-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

sad but its true... you'll never see me looking at you because you're just there staring at her
sad but its true... you'll never see me crying because whenever you come to me i fake a smile...
sad but its true... there is nothing more i can give but to give you all the strength i have, all my hopes for you to be able to love her...
sad but its true... i know she is the one meant for you
sad but its true... i have to let go..

this was written by my friend matty(sorry if i reposted your work and hands down ako sa iyo). it just somehow struck me for some strange reason. not that its applicable to me. haha

2005-09-25T05:28:00.000-07:00

Did you know ???

Did you know that when you envy someone, it's because you really like that person?

Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real weak and most succeptible?

Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need some one to protect them?

Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are :
I love you, Sorry and help me
The people who say these are actually in need of them or really feel them, and are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them.

Did you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others company or helping others

are the ones that actually need your company and help?

Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?

Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty?

Did you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?

Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds?

Did you know that those who need more of you are those that don't mention it to you?

Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face?But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?

Did you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is much more valuable than anything that is valuable that you can buy with money?

Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted?

Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do.

i guess this is just something that we can ponder on. not all of it might be true/applicable to everyone but it somehow makes you stop and reconsider some of it doesn't it?

2005-09-19T05:56:00.000-07:00

am i missing something? i know that i am not really that vocal when it comes to my so-called feelings. upon reading tiny's journal my long repressed mindless musings suddenly came forth. i know not what i am truly experiencing right now. i am probably confused, stoic, apathetic, discontented, frustrated and disoriented. atleast i am no longer depressed. in fact these past few days i have been somehwat.. happy.. oh the complexities and parodies of my nature.

i feel like i am searching for something. but i have no idea what it is. is it that drive that will make me strive for something more? or is that something that will change me completely? is it something that will lift me from this seemingly unending oblivion? darnit. what the hell am i saying here? this only proves that i am utterly out of it.

i only wish that i will be enlightened. somehow by someone in someplace.

"what is essential is invisible to the eye".....

2005-09-16T16:37:00.000-07:00

the first week of classes went by like passerby gone unnoticed. indeed, time flies by without us really noticing it. and then we stop and realize and ask ourselves, "what happened?". i suppose that is the effect of the trimestral system of la salle. we are living the fast paced life. but for this term, i am happy with our set of professors except for the one in bioarts. our block has been somewhat the same, with a few demarcations in the seating arrangement(*they seem to be isolated now don't they?).

and now i am just minding my own business, striving to be better than the previous term. but i know that i can only do so much. will this turn out to be another unfulfilled dream?

this week i bought my own copy of preludes and nocturnes, which i the first volume of neil gaiman's sandman. i have already read the other books prior to this. i just wanted my own copy. i also bought ann rice's "the vampire armand". these has really made my week. the only problem is, i spent my money reserved for the dress that i'm "supposed" to buy for pat's debut.. ^_^ hahaha. now i'm really flat borke again. darn these temptations.

2005-09-14T03:51:00.000-07:00

HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS

This would give you guides on how to control your emotions towardsyour better-half, friends, officemates and all the people around you, especially your "boss".

The rules of practicing "ugaling langit, ugaling kaaya-aya" :

#1 Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit. Pag naunahan ka na ng galit niya, tumahimik ka na lang muna.

#2 Walang taong nag-aaway mag-isa. Pag hindi kayo sumagot o pumatol, titigil din daw ang taong nakikipag- away sa inyo.

#3 Ang taong galit, 'bingi.' If someone is angry, wala raw pinakikinggan, so, don't try to explain and fight back. Hindi ka niya iintindihin dahil wala siyang naririnig kundi ang sarili nya.

#4 Ang taong galit, 'abnoy.' Ayon sa pastor, Biblical daw ito? because the Lord said when He was crucified, "Father, patawarin mo sila dahil hindi nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa." Modern term for these kinds of people are abnoys, so you better not get angry para huwag kang matawag na abnoy. You should also know and realize that the persons who make your day bad are jewel, because you need them for you to mature. Hangga't andyan daw sila at kinaiinisan mo, ibig sabihin, immature ka pa. God will not take away those people; it's for you to take away your bad feelings towards them. You'll know na mature ka na pag dumating 'yung time na hindi ka na naiinis sa mga taong ito because you have learned to accept them and to have patience with them.

#5 Finally, the best part of this is to tell yourself na, because of this person, "I will grow mature," and that DAHIL SA CONTRIBUTION NIYA SA MATURITY MO, KUKUNIN DIN SYA NI LORD.

2005-09-09T21:11:00.000-07:00

4S dinner at shakey's
ganzy, tabia, marese at ako
czar, min, beiai and mon. i haven't seen these guys for quite some time. haha
group pic before the ice cream.

so last night was another 4S dinner thing. it's another first for me since i was not able to attend the previous gatherings. it was so much fun. we were the noisy ones in shakey's and people kept looking at us because whenever a person arrives, we gush and awe at the same time. so that was a lot of noise. i really miss these people. i miss our undending stories, the private and corny jokes, the bonding sessions, the creative videos, the overnights and so much more. life in college is truly not the same without you especially when it comes to groupworks. no matter what happens, iba pa rin ang samahan ng 4S. the two years that i spent with you guys is one of the things that i treasure the most. kita kita ulit sa debut ni pat. sana, mas complete na tayo. haha

2005-09-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

today is my grandmother's 89th birthday. yes, she has almost lived for a century and is still very strong. every year, we have a family gathering, be it in our house or in some other place. for the first time in 3 years i was able to attend because i didn't have class. it was actually fun seeing my relatives. although the age gap is very big(mind you, it ranges from 10-30++ years) you can still somehow relate to the conversation. but i usually keep quiet and listen to the stories and other chikas that they have which i a lot. imagine, the "mini party" started at around 11am and it ended at around 10pm. i can hear their voices from downstairs and i know that they were having a blast. it's not everyday that they get to see each other. some of them came all the way from baliwag just to attend my grandma's birthday.

knowing the person that i am, i couldn't really stand social gatherings.. i mean, i'm not really a social person to begin with. so at around 1pm i decided to go to glorietta to scout for a dress(i cannot believe i am saying this) for a debut that i am to attend at the end of the month. the theme for the occassion is 60's/breakfast at tiffany's style. man, was it tiring. these are one of those times that i can say that being a girl is hard. you have to have the time, patience, effort, and money to engage in looking for the right kind of clothing to wear. among the four what do i possess? NONE. so by around 3pm i gave up and just strolled around aimlessly, not knowing which direction to go(as i've mentioned before, i have a twisted/screwed up sense of direction). but at the end of the day, i found something.. te problem is, it's really expensive. i don't really want to spend that much money on a dress.. i'm not a dressy person. i also tried it on( sa rob place na ito).... and... my friend told me "kat, mukha kang babae! bilhin mo na, bagay siya sa iyo".. so i was like.. "ampuch..um kasi babae ako doi".. darnit. these trivial matters are really burdensome. i just want to get this over with.

2005-09-06T05:04:00.000-07:00

si bosing, st macky..... at si ann:D
these are people who made HS a better place. kaso sobrang kulang kami diyan.

ako at si joan
medyo di ata ako dapat nasa pic na yan. lolz

2005-09-04T10:00:00.000-07:00

i miss 4S...

2005-09-03T06:32:00.000-07:00

this day was spent at HOME...... NOT! at the last minute i went with tiny, fing and their blockmates to ateneo for their brainstorming and group project. it's fun meeting new people. i was the only lasallian but i still felt at ease with them. they were way better than some of the people that i encountered in my school. not that i'm generalizing. its just that they have his different attitude that makes them easy to get along with.

unfortunately, it rained really hard and none of us had an umbrella with us. duo's car was parked a little farther from the SEC building. it was a good thing that the manong was kind enough to accompany him to this car. but since the rain was really falling hard, we were bound to get wet. i was the unlucky one because i think i walked either too fast or too slow. then, we ate at wok this way. their sisig there is the best. it's sold at 70 bucks and 2-3 people can share. plus the seafood rice was also scrumptuous.

on the way home it was still raining like hell. they were kind enough to drive us until tin's house and then from there, i had to commute. since i didn't bring an umbrella with me i got wet(again) but this time it was a bit worse since i walked a longer distance from nakpil until my house. by the time i reached my place, my shirt and jeans were almost already soaked with water. my shirt was almost see-through. luckily, i was wearing a green shirt otherwise if i had worn a lighter color, that would've been worse.

now i am sneezing and i think i am coming down with something.. i'm also a bit cold/shivering... regardless of these adverse effects, i still had fun hanging out with the ateneo people and having another so-called adventure even if it means i got drenched.

2005-09-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

for these past days/weeks i have been having troubles with sleeping early. by this i mean sleeping before 2am. although i still have the luxury of reaching my usual 10-12 hours of sleep, my bodyclock is just plain screwed up. it's hard forcing myself to sleep because even if i do want to sleep my eyes just refuse to shut. last night/morning i slept at 4am. trying to make my eyes tired i had a movie marathon. i watched white chicks(it still is funny even if i've watched it so many times), someone like you(hugh jackman.. enough said), mean girls(i cannot believe i watched this), anastasia(an all time favorite), she's all that(my goodness i must have been really groggy.. another chick flick!!). if i didn't have anything planned that day i probably would've witnessed the sunrise. i realy forced myself to sleep... or atleast tried to. while everyone was asleep, i am still wide awake which sucks coz i don't really have anyone to talk to. nobody's online on such and ungodly hour. and here i am, typing away with not an urge to succumb to the sweet calling of my bed. i just hope that by the time school starts, i'll be able to sleep by atleast 12am.. to think we alreadt have PE teams next term and i know that i will be needing the rest that i can get coz our schedule sucks..

today is my first time to really explore gateway mall. on the way there, it was a good thing that carlo knew the way, else i would've been wandering like a seemingly lost child. mind you, i have a twisted sense of direction. hahaha ended up watching the cave, which was a sorry excuse for a monster like movie, minus the great sound effects and the bloody deaths of the minor characters. most of the scenes were predictable but i still found some parts funny because the ladies behind us were screeming.. haha i guess i also have a twisted sense of humor to match my sense of direction. its already 2am and i am too lazy to finish this entry and it looks like it's gonna rain pretty hard(oops non-sequiteur).

Cont....
we spent most of the time in the arcade just playing basketball(natalo ako ni carlo nung huling games.. amp), shooting games, dance maniacs(but the older version was still in use there) and air hockey. it just sucks that the timezone there is really small. it's like they forced it to fit into such a small place. the place was really cramped. but still, this is still better than nothing...

2005-08-31T08:31:00.000-07:00

~disclaimer: this entry will most probably be EMO, incoherent, and dramatic. so just read at your own risk...~

DEPRESSION. this is a feeling that i know all to well. it has been an unwelcomed friend to accompany me in this timely occassion. i suppose that it is normal for me to be feeling this way. alas, i am drowning in such sweet sorrow, misery and torment. into a whirlpool of thoughts and emotions that have barely left an ounce of optimism in me. i admire those people who look on the brighter side. for i myself seldom do that, especially when it matters.

it's as if reality had slapped me in a very astounding manner. this is the first time that i cried so hard in FOUR YEARS. i was always able to control myself. i was always able to stop the tears from falling. but i guess, all those anguish, all those things that escaped from the past had finally caught up with me. i just couldn't help myself because i then knew that my hopes have just disappeared in a blink of an eye. up until now my mind is still plagued with the question: "could i have been something more?". i guess we all know the obvious answer.

and now as i am sinking into an endless abyss of my own mediocrity and failure, i am just sorry if i'm such a disappointment to you.

2005-08-29T03:54:00.000-07:00

1,000 Times by Tahiti 80

just because you'll always be

miles ahead of me

i don't see why

i shouldn't try

to catch up with you

coz in my mind a 1,000 times or more

i've been there before

there's nothing i can see

that will stop me, believe me

our time will come

and i don't think

i will let another chance

pass me by

i don't want you to get bored

like you have a 1,000 times before

give me some time

just to show that I am up to it

our time will come

and i don't think

i will let another chance

pass me by

there's something that can be done

to bring us back together as one

there's something else i can do

that's why i'm sending this message to you

i will try another 1,000 times

to bring us back together as one

i will try another 1,000 times

'til you decide to change your mind

2005-08-28T19:05:00.000-07:00

~SLOW DANCE ~

Have you ever watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Do you run through each day

On the fly?

When you ask "How are you?"

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done

Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through your head?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call and say,"hi

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift....

Thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower.

Hear the music

Before the song is over ...

2005-08-28T06:45:00.000-07:00

now that we have the two week long break, i am happy that i get to reach my usual 10-12 hours of sleep. this is pure bliss. no longer am i in my cranky mood and bangag days.

finally, i will be able to visit my friends from up and ateneo either this week of the next. i really miss those ghey beings.

2005-08-28T01:55:00.000-07:00

super thanks to fing for the lay-out. i guess she took pity on my dreary looking blog. haha but i'm still going to keep my xanga account.

yesterday out of boredom i watched the truth about love which starred the guy from "the guru", jennifer love hewitt and dougray scott. i can't say that it was an awesome movie but it still is funny when you come think of it.. imagine, a man who cheats on his wife, who also cheats on his mistress. that's a new plot for a new movie.. the only bad thing was the ending, which was a bit sappy but okay and the fact that most f the people who watched the movie were couples.. ugh. i do have my unfortunate encounters with couples in the movie house.

now for the much needed two week break, i don't have any plans.. yet.. looks like *bummer mode* nanaman.

2005-08-27T22:55:00.000-07:00

testing... testing blogskin ^_^